Sometimes...we might just forget...

23 August 2010 2:46 PM Posted by sLeEp|ezzz 0 comments
~When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

哭-ing

20 August 2010 11:30 AM Posted by sLeEp|ezzz 0 comments

Yesterday was my first day to attend Typography class...
Lecturer told us that a character actually can show the meaning of how you create them.
I guess for those who don't know how to read chinese also know what
I'm trying to say here, right..? XD

And if doesn't, I'm so failed to show out the meaning I wanted to say! haha..
Somehow, I still feel my heart is crying........ haha~

Who am I today

19 August 2010 11:48 AM Posted by sLeEp|ezzz 0 comments
The road that I walk back to home after work....
If I'm not here today, wonder where I am now?

Yuna - Missing Star

14 August 2010 8:50 PM Posted by sLeEp|ezzz 0 comments
This song really.. NICE! nostalgic-nya... The feeling is just like happened yesterday..
Couldn't believe.. I can go through it...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
I can't never really tell you
Why I've been missing you a lot
And I just have to take another look of your photo in my wallet
And there's no reason why I keep your t-shirt by my side when I sleep
Pretending you were never really gone
It's like a missing star
That's always been up in your sky
It's like the rainbow never comes after the rain
It's like the sun never rises in every of your mornings
How am I supposed to live without those things
They are all you.............................

I see lights

13 August 2010 9:29 AM Posted by sLeEp|ezzz 0 comments
Artistic leh.... It's a view from the place I stay ...
不知不覺已經三年了....

Handsome Gunpla

12 August 2010 12:30 PM Posted by sLeEp|ezzz 0 comments
New toy to share(i mean latest toys la..)... a surprise birthday pressie from Alvyn.. :D
very HANDSOME right... jangan JELES..


Still have 1 more I have not assemble yet.... will assemble it when I'm in VERY GOOD MOOD because that's a gift from a very very very special friend of mine.... :D

Once in a blue moon

11 August 2010 2:15 PM Posted by sLeEp|ezzz 0 comments
Did you know what is Blue moon..?
"A very rare event which is the moon actually appearing blue, after volcanic eruptions or unusual weather conditions. According to popular usage, a blue moon refers to the second full moon that occurs in any calendar month.
On average, there will be 41 months that have two full moons in every century. By that calculation 'once in a blue moon' means once every two-and-a-half years."


Besides phrase, some people compose it as a song...

I found "U" once again... in a blue moon.... <3

Guess who is crying?

06 August 2010 3:43 PM Posted by sLeEp|ezzz 0 comments
Another collection of JiaJia & Morganbrienart
Thanks to YiJai for sharing the photo.
Feels like hugging her..... O.o

Elderly Couple of 62 Years plays piano

03 August 2010 10:13 PM Posted by sLeEp|ezzz 0 comments
"An elderly couple walked into the lobby of the Mayo Clinic for a checkup
and spotted a piano. They've been married for 62 years and he'll be 90 this year."
How many people in the world can live together for 62 years...?!
Awww..... this is the best partner I've ever seen... :D enjoy!